I can’t wait to be in love. Perhaps a little too much. I feel like every other girl I meet I wanna fall in love with. But here’s the thing, it’s not even coming from a sad place or anything like that. I think we all know that someone who isn’t happy on their own and uses love as the primary way to shield themselves from negativity.
But in a sense, actually no, in all senses, that’s a really shitty kind of love. That’s the type of love that one is dependent on for happiness. As soon as it’s gone, that person is no longer happy. But that’s not where I am at all.
You see, I’m a perfectly happy individual. My life is fucking awesome! At least, from where I was at this time last year, my life has done a full 180. I made Corrado great again. Let me tell you, there is no one who is as good as me at living a fulfilling life. I’m the best at it. I’m tremendous. If someone claims to be happier than me, they are crooked and corrupt. Bigly.
But besides the Donald references, I’m doing great! Seriously. I don’t know what more I could ask for. My family is the bomb, my friends are the shit, school is dope, and I’m finally able to run again! There is literally nothing that could keep me from being satisfied on my own.
Yet I can’t help but feel like there is something missing. And the more I think about it, the more I realize
Fuck me, amirite?!? Well no, because if anybody did then I wouldn’t have to write this fucking post.
On the real though, why do I feel like this? I mean, no shit, we all long for love. Whoopty doo, what a great fucking discovery! BUT SERIOSULY?? Why can I not stop feeling like this? If everything I just said about being happy is true, which it is and has been for a while, then why can’t I freaking just put my lovey-dovey bullshit to bed for at least one fucking second?!?
My problem is exactly what I said at the beginning: I feel like every other girl I meet I wanna fall in love with. It’s like if I just enjoy being around someone for even a tenth of a second, my brain jumps to “Oh my god, what if it’s her?”
But here’s what pisses me off the most. I don’t think I’m alone in feeling that way, right? I mean, obviously there are different degrees of that issue amongst people, but I don’t think what I just talked about is that unusual. If you’re somewhere in my demographic, you’re essentially meeting new people everywhere you go. You’re bound to run into someone and think, “What if it’s him/her?”
Disclaimer: when I say, “what if it’s him/her?” cool your jets. I’m not talking about the love of your life. That’s a whoooole different story. Baby steps here, people. I’m talking about someone that you could share a relationship with.
That’s the “what if it’s her?” I’m talking about. The kind that leaves you thinking, “I wonder if they thought the same thing about me?” So if we can agree that what I just talked about is not that foreign of an idea, then HOT DAMN…wtf is taking so long?!
Granted, the best things in life are the ones worth waiting for, yada yada yada, save me the schpeel… or maybe it’s hard for me to overlook that aspect because I live in house with 3 other people, all of whom are in a relationship, but good lord why doesn’t it fucking happen to me already? I’m young, sexy, and Italian. That alone should be enough. Then you add the fact that I bitch and moan on the internet about my problems and I basically become every informercial product you have ever seen: you have to try me at least once.
But nope, not happenin’. And I want that somebody mostly for the non-physical aspects of love too. I’m not over here like thirsty out of my mind. And let’s be real, if sex was really the epicenter of my problem then the solution would be right in front of me, I do go to college after all. But again, that’s not where the lovey-dovey bullshit is coming from.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to be on some hypocritical shit like “I don’t even want it for sex”. Cus who am I kidding…of course that’s part of it. (Side note: I’m a 20 year old guy and just admitted that I’m tryna fuck…I know, I basically just re-invented the idea of college #revolutionary.) But seriously, there are so many aspects of love that I look forward to more than just the physical.
I just wanna be able to look into a girl’s eyes and see them light up. I wanna see her lips curling around the edges as she realizes that she’s staring at someone who loves her just as much in return.
Wait, fuck…is that a physical thing? Eh who cares… I just want that.
Anyway, I have so much more to say on this topic, but honestly it branches it out to so many other things. I’ll probably just write again about this some other time or just tie it into other posts. I feel like I didn’t accomplish shit by writing this either because I didn’t say anything really that thought provoking. It’s all just kind of a big bleh. But for now that’s all I got. Till next time,